i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
