seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
