i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
