Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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