i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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