Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
