So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
