I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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