fuck your aforementioned shoe
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
