he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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