people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
