piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
