i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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