It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
smell my finger.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You left your phone here
Wait...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
