So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Congratulations! We have a period
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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