This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
