So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
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