So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
