Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
