Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
