i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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