I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
