My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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