You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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