is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
