Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
