he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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