fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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