There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
