what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
