This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
