I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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