how can u be prego again
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize