I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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