I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
