this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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