I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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