You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
