Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
