I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
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I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
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Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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