it's too hot outside to masturbate.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize