I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
