her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
