dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
