Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
