No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
