Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
