dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
