How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
