Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize