All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
