so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
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So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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