ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize