Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
