my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
