Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
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I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
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She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't deserve a penis
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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