just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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