At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
