The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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