ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
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It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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