the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
