if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The air taste purple.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
